My daughter summed up:
Husband is the kids’ baseball coach and he asks the team “Ok kids, what’s the #1 rule on our team?”
Dizzle: “BE AGGRESSIVE!”
Husband: “I appreciate your intensity but it’s have fun.”
Husband: “What’s our #2 rule?”
Dizzle: “BE AGGRESSIVE!”
Husband: “Ok, I really like it but it’s try your best.”
Dizzle is appalled that she hasn’t made “one, single money” yet in her new business venture. I’m not sure why she’s so surprised since it’s a dog washing business and she has yet to wash one, single dog.
Dizzle: When is Luna’s birthday?
Me: You know what? It’s actually Christmas.
Dizzle: Whoa, that’s crazy! So she’s just like Jesus… except I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t poop on the floor.
(Luna is the puppy, not some weird aunt who poops in floors).
Me: “I love the puppy being this small. I don’t want her to get big yet.”
Bennett: “Well, what if we just don’t feed her?”
Keeping that marriage alive, friends.
Advice of the day: never tell your kid that you “fired” someone unless you’re positive that he knows the meaning of the word. My son is now convinced that I have set another human being on fire. On the bright side, he hasn’t talked back all night.
I slept so peacefully last night after Bennett softly whispered in my ear “you’re gonna die before me.”
Booski is a glass half full kind of guy. A few days after our beloved dog dies: “Hey Mom, now that Shooter is dead, I can finally beat him in a race.”
Booski is really into the word “boring” right now. It’s really confusing for me when he keeps telling me how boring it is to sit in the car for the 10 minute drive to school. I’m already serenading him from the front seat. Does he want me to add an instrument? Some choreography? Maybe he wants me to engage in a board game with him while I drive a motorized vehicle?
Please consider this my public apology to the custodian at my son’s school. I’m sure clean up was extra fun after Booski thought it was hilarious to turn off the lights on his buddies while they were still peeing.
