After the Dog
Poor little brother found out how low he falls on the totem pole.
Category: Dizzle (Age 6)
Severed Hand
Another day, another severed Barbie hand found in my bed.
Low Priorities
Dizzle: “Mom, guess what! I did that gymnastics move without breaking my neck.”
Smart Choice, Kid
Me: Dizzle, do you think you’re going to want to be a mom someday?
Dizzle: Nah, I think I’m just gonna have a boyfriend.
Dizzle’s Poor Friend
Me: If you can’t be nice to your brother when your friend is over, poor Gabby is going to have to go home.
Dizzle: I didn’t even do anything. And Gabby is not poor!
My Hopes
In order of importance:
1. World peace
2. A cure for cancer
3. My 6 year-old daughter to stop singing Slow Hands.
How To Keep Boys Away
Dizzle: I want to wear the same shirt today.
Me: You wore that shirt yesterday and it has a big taco spot right on your chest.
Dizzle: I know, I love how I can smell like tacos all day.
Be Aggressive
My daughter summed up:
Husband is the kids’ baseball coach and he asks the team “Ok kids, what’s the #1 rule on our team?”
Dizzle: “BE AGGRESSIVE!”
Husband: “I appreciate your intensity but it’s have fun.”
Husband: “What’s our #2 rule?”
Dizzle: “BE AGGRESSIVE!”
Husband: “Ok, I really like it but it’s try your best.”
Entrepreneur
Dizzle is appalled that she hasn’t made “one, single money” yet in her new business venture. I’m not sure why she’s so surprised since it’s a dog washing business and she has yet to wash one, single dog.
Everyone Poops
Dizzle: When is Luna’s birthday?
Me: You know what? It’s actually Christmas.
Dizzle: Whoa, that’s crazy! So she’s just like Jesus… except I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t poop on the floor.
(Luna is the puppy, not some weird aunt who poops in floors).